You can never make everyone happy. In fact, the better off you are, the list of people who hate you will get even longer.
Such was a quote I addressed someone a while ago, and some recent nuisances I’ve come across in my life can relate to this.
Many people seek to adjust themselves or do things in their life to make others approve of them- whatever it be to drive a nicer vehicle, diet and train for a better body, pick a career path that their family and friends approve of, or just otherwise other things so people look up to them- could be as simple as having similar opinions and values.
You could be close to the pinnacle of the common man’s prestige as possible- drive a supercar, have a model’s body, and work a 6-digit salary white collar office job that would make you a celebrity among the school kids in their mom’s basements open their jaws in awe.
But, then you will still have another kid in mom’s basement hate you because he/she has a job he/she never truly wanted.
The person who sits in front of his/her TV with a bag of chips everyday after work and daydreams about his/her exes will think you’re a eyesore to society for promoting the body image you like and working for nice things.
Or, it could just be simple as a matter of being direct in dating because of the increased confidence and positive attitude your experiences have shaped you. One might like it, but someone else will perceive it as you just wanting to hook up. And because you won’t try to be casual friends with such person you’re attracted to for 6 months, then you must be a bad partner.
So really, in respect to gaining public approval, to spend a lot of your time and money striving to such has never made much financial sense.
A second quote once a hiring manager told me also correlates to some of my recent experiences:
It’s not always about how smart or experienced you are, but rather- your confidence and ambitions.
Someone can be “smart”, but sell a stock once it dips 1% because such investor cannot stomach seeing his/her money lose 1% of its value temporarily. Someone with less financial literacy but understands everything goes through its bad times will just simply buy a stock, forget about it for a while, and peek back at it every so often. He/she has the confidence that things will turn around and make money, and the ambition to want the result.
He/she can be “smart”, but can’t survive a trucking or trades job, because he/she is always paranoid about hitting something, having to learn a lot quickly, or just the sheer nerve of having such a liability in the hands. Or, it could just be the cold and blunt job environment. Confidence lets you say “I can do it, and I will not drop a step back until I got this”, and ambition makes you want to be successful, at almost any cost:
I will never give up until I got these rods snapped tight, this wiring puzzle solved, and this trailer through this horrid congested traffic. And, the quicker and better I have it done, then the quicker my Ferrari will be with me.
He/she can be a “smart and nice” person, but will talk to someone for months versus expressing the emotions and facing the fears of dating upfront- and make something happen. The fear of the other one not liking back corrodes any confidence or ambitions, while someone else realizes that not everyone is compatible with each other, and it is a simple matter of just moving on and finding someone else if things don’t work. And, if you’re a moderately good looking person with some degree of confidence, someone else will like you for it. After all, many people date idiots/losers/”assholes”… Whatever you want to call them. So if they can find something, you can too; they have the confidence that they are good shit, and anyone who says otherwise is below them. They have the confidence to face their fears of what the worst could happen, and the ambition to move forward with their life. They have the ambition to move onto the next best thing if someone tries to pull them down.